Smoosh Rocktoss

An ogre, drowning her sorrows at the Alehouse.


As she sat alone on the floor of the Alehouse, tables and chairs pushed aside, she drank from barrels of booze. She told the party of her troubles.

“Mah clan has lived in dem hills fer generashuns and we’iz always happy. Smashin tings, and finding tings to smash. A few weeks back, Smoosh wuz in a gatherin party. We goes out and gathers deerz and cowz and horses wif carts attached to ‘em an udder tasty stuffs ta carry back to da clan. Well dis time, we talked into dis clearing, and dere was some real old ruins built fer little people like youse fellers. Dere was dis statue in da middle, an all da udder ogres started bein all weirds. Dey kep’ lookin at dat statue, an den dey dropped all da stuff we was catchin, an’ it started runnin away. Smoosh ran’d off ta recatch all dem goodies, and when Smoosh gets back, all dem ogres iz sittin ’round dat statue, just starin at it. Smoosh tried real hard ta get dem ogres ta stop starin. Smoosh even smacked one of ’em in da face wif a tree, but he jus blinked an kept on starin.”

After the party helped with the succubus problem in a clearing, she showed her gratitude in a smoochy, smooshy, uncomfortably lingering way with Sever.

She left a note at the Alehouse for the party later, that read “Yous had all better vizit clan. Dey wants ta give tanks fer yer helpin da stoopid menfolk wif stoopid statue.” There are little hearts, anatomically correct, drawn on the back of the note.

Smoosh Rocktoss

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